[A youtube comment in Spanish, here rendered into English by Google translate. The author's name is given as @georg_y_zoroaster]
Although I am very sorry for this whole situation, what this has meant for Eisel, being that this has truly represented a tragedy for him, finding out that the person he loves, for whom he has done so much, is not who he thought he was. Although this really breaks my heart, since Eisel has been my hero for several years now, and I only wish the best for him, this has actually been very...educational and inspiring for me.
I identify with many of Melissa's mistakes, even though I haven't made the same mistakes as her. (Maybe I'm just projecting, but I'm actually aware of how different I am from her, and that, even with everything, she's still intellectually superior to me.) I'm glad she has someone so morally and intellectually superior who loves and respects her so much (treating her like an adult instead of a child) that he helps her stay in line, and improve herself, and that she, Despite all your flaws, you can find the strength and humility to look in the mirror and want to solve the riddle of how to direct your life to be a better person.
For now I only have myself, partly because most of the people around me are even more immoral and vile than me, but I also have to admit that I myself have not gone out and looked for people more intelligent and moral than me. (out of embarrassment and because I feel intimidated by them, but I suppose also because I don't want to leave my comfort zone: practically out of laziness). And for the same reason I am aware that I have to be completely honest with myself and take full responsibility for my actions, since for now I have no one else to keep me in line.
But this series has really made me reflect on the time wasted being a bad person, following only my instincts like an animal, indulging the pleasures of the body with a life of leisure and excuses, daydreaming, living my life as if time did not stop. I would pass, waiting for some miracle of willpower, instead of working every day and every moment on my habits; Instead of doing something with my life, doing something in this world. I too have my own puzzle to solve.
I just hope that Melissa can really find a way to be a better person and a true intellectual, and to repay Eisel as best as possible; and that Eisel can find in Melissa a partner at least as loving as him, who supports him and encourages him in his projects and in his life.
I know this is going to sound strange, but —in my mind's eye— Pornhub actually seems more ethical than Onlyfans (in terms of the relationship between the creator and the audience.
The drawing above I must credit to Daily sketch 0506 by Kim Il Kwang
[Audience member, "Frank Petrone":] Eisel it seems like you give Melissa too much freedom in the relationship. Revenge sex is all fine and dandy but it will not fix the problems at the core of your relationship. If you really want to salvage your relationship you need to be a man and start making demands. Tell her that if she wants to stay with you than she has to start taking her education seriously and not be allowed to use phones/technology which she cannot be trusted with. How will you ever be able to marry a girl who can spend hours upon hours virtually cheating on you but cannot sit down and learn a new language? How could you trust this person to be the mother to your child?
[Me:] You point out a number of serious problems, but then look back at your first sentence, starting the paragraph: less freedom isn't the solution. The situation would be much simpler if too much freedom really were the (root) problem.
[Audience member:] you’re right. I use the term ‘freedom’ very loosely but what I truly meant to communicate is that after this whole scenario you yourself have more freedom to hold Mellisa accountable for her actions. She no longer can play innocent or cry victim because her true nature has been exposed. If she acts like a spoiled ungrateful child than she can expect to be treated that way by the people around her. She chose the path she is on and you chose your own path. Because of her choices she will have deal with the fact that she has lost trust and respect. You are no longer the bad guy for wanting to have access to her phone and knowledge of her whereabouts. If she cannot change than good riddance, it means you deserved better to begin with.
[Me:] In this way, my own strengths become a weakness: I absolutely never would have asked to look at her phone (or read her private messages, etc.) because I know what I would do in her position, and I expect her to live up to the same moral standards I'd hold myself to (etc.). Thus, quote, "You are no longer the bad guy for wanting to have access to her phone and knowledge of her whereabouts" —to me this seems surreal. I never wanted to carry out surveillance: I wanted her to be motivated to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do —and (of course) these were agreements we'd made mutually and openly (i.e., she'd taken a vow). She had everything to gain by obeying the rules, and she had everything to lose by breaking them: she would have to be stupid and crazy to cheat in an open (polyamorous) relationship… and it absolutely did not occur to me that I should really be concerned about just how stupid and crazy she was in practice (once the principe of the thing had been agreed to).
I have tried to live a morally good life, Melissa.
I have tried so hard for us to live a morally good life, together.
My standards of morality are unconventional, but they are strict: I have tried to live an exemplary life by my own standards.
And I wanted to be proud of what I had done with my life when I met my daughter again, I wanted to be proud of what you had done with your life when I met my daughter again, I wanted to be proud of what we had done with our lives together when I met my daughter again.
I tried so hard to be a morally good person.
I tried so hard for us to be a morally good couple.
And you have ruined that for me: I now have to regard myself with contempt, even though I did nothing wrong, simply because I allowed you to do this to me —and because it was possible (because I trusted you) for you to do this to us.
I did nothing wrong; but now we are bad people; your actions, our consequences; your decisions, but we both have to live with the implications.
I am ashamed of what we did with our lives in the last four years.
I am ashamed of writing No More Manifestos, because of what you did to me while I was writing it.
I am now a bad person in my own eyes because of what you did, even though I did nothing wrong; and I would be ashamed to be reunited with my daughter.
You have deprived me of the only sources of dignity in my life, again and again.
I am ashamed of who I am now; not because of any decision I made; not because of any mistake I made; not because of any weakness or flaw in my character.
I am ashamed of who I am now because of something you have done, Melissa, because of decisions you made, because of who you are —because of the kind of person (ethically and intellectually) that you revealed yourself to be.
I am ashamed of who we are.
I trusted you. And you ruined me. You ruined me in the eyes of my own daughter. You ruined me in my own eyes, too: I consider myself "a bad person", because I trusted you, I enabled you, I loved you and encouraged you and supported you —and thereby (because of your deceit) I allowed this to happen, unaware of what was happening.
