Wayne,
(1) There were hundreds and hundreds of sexually explicit videos (and nude photos) Melissa produced of herself masturbating to send to one of these guys (i.e., one of the three guys mentioned in the youtube videos). I have seen a huge number of these images and videos myself (just this morning, for the first time) that she kept on her hard drive.
She lied about this, too: she claimed she had deleted all of the messages, photos and videos (to "cover her tracks"). She didn't: she had a huge collection of these videos (showing her cheating on me) saved on her hard drive.
(2) She told this guy (that she was opening up her vagina for in these video taped messages, etc.) she wanted to meet with him and have sex with him hundreds of times (in one message that I saw myself she said, "I have been trying to meet up with you and have sex [secretly] for 11.5 months now")…
…but she also told him that she loved him (that they were in love) hundreds of times (again: I have now seen the messages myself, and Melissa lied about this until she got caught, etc.).
(3) They discussed getting married, repeatedly: while she was living in my house, having sex with me every day, she wasn't just sneaking away to film herself masturbating for this guy (and to watch him masturbating on camera) she was —in fact— discussing with him the possibility that the two of them would get married (i.e., instead of Melissa marrying me).
This is —absolutely— as serious as cheating gets.
She has also lied repeatedly about how long this went on for. It would be untrue to say that it was only one full (12 month) year. The lies, gaslighting, etc., lasted fully four years: he was still sending her email trying to meet up and have sex (and/or trade porn images and videos) just a few days ago (perhaps six days ago, perhaps seven, from memory: again, I saw the email myself, along with the date).
She told him she loved him, she told him she was considering getting married to him, and of course there are hundreds and hundreds of sexually explicit messages from her to him of exactly the kind that you (as a father) do not want to hear specified: she tells him that she wants to taste his cum, etc. etc.
She is aware that she's cheating: she talks about what she's doing (in these text messages) as cheating on me, and she indicates that she's waiting for her chance to send him more videos when I'm asleep or out of the apartment, etc.
Melissa has repeatedly tried to misrepresent herself as if she was somehow "entrapped" by this guy: that he somehow lied to her, manipulated her, or blackmailed her into this situation. That is not true. I have seen a huge number of the messages: I can honestly say that this was 100% Melissa's fault (0% my fault, and 0% the other man's fault) and that she really did instigate this gleefully. She did this with real cruelty, knowing what the consequences would be for me: she knew that she was hurting me, she knew that she was betraying me, and she enjoyed doing it even more for that reason. She lied to him, she lied to me, she lied to everyone.
