I didn't meet ONE good person via my research in Buddhism (Buddhist Studies, Buddhist Philosophy, etc.).
I didn't meet ONE good person via my attempts at humanitarian work in Laos, Cambodia, etc.
So I quit: from the perspective of those "movements", I'm dead —I'm gone.
What if there were a dozen good people in each one of those fields but —like you— they were cowards?
What you're describing in this email is cowardice: nothing less, nothing else.
Yes, helping me entails a kind of risk. For some professor of Buddhist to reach out and help me (many years ago) would have entailed a type of risk (I had written essays about Buddhism that were scandalous and shocking, I was willing to say things about the history of slavery (in Buddhist countries) that were scandalous and shocking, and so on). Yes, there's a type of risk. Counterbalanced to this risk is cowardice.
It's possible there were zero good people in those fields (and so on for Cree-and-Ojibwe, so on for Chinese, so on for the vegan movement, etc.) but it's also possible there were people like you: cowards? Guess what? It's the same thing: cowards are bad people. There are zero good people either way: either absolutely zero, or there are people who have some redeeming qualities but who are too timorous (too cowardly) to take a risk —too cowardly to make a difference —too cowardly to even try to help someone like me For example: me.
Talent is scarce. There will never be another man like me in the vegan movement, nor in Chinese politics, Cree-and-Ojbwe linguistics, Buddhist philosophy, etc. There will never be anyone else like me in stand up comedy, either. And the peculiar talent I have to offer in this world will go to waste because of people like you: cowards.
E.M.
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I suppose that is a fair criticism. You are correct. Again.
But where does that get you? I would suggest that there is so much wrong about how we (humans) are currently doing things, that anyone telling the truth comes off as "negative". We are apes. Social and political. And messed up.
Given these things, I am just sorry that you may end up shunned. Like the real Mayor. When the things you are saying are so necessary.
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Thanks for taking the time to write in.
I say again: I need help.
Help.
There probably are ways that you can help.
I tried to get a series of children's storybooks illustrated and published for many years. It never happened because not one person would help me. Really, that doesn't take a genius.
I'm looking for university programs even now: I can't Google everything myself. You could help me. It doesn't take a genius.
E.M.
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I remember you mentioning in one of your videos that you were writing a story book about an earthworm. It was a lovely idea. It also wanted to see the sky. I looked for the book to buy, but could never find it.
Is that a book from the series you are talking about?
I would say that you already have the skills and creativity to write a children's book. (You probably already know that.) I have spent many years in fiction workshops in recent years. I have a couple of books in various forms of draft. A word of caution re: your disillusionment with the worlds of Buddhism, veganism, etc: I would venture to say you will have a similar experience of the people in the arena of fiction writing. Writers are also jockeying for position and not caring about the truth. MFA's are notorious for backstabbing and pick-me behavior, imho. I have had a few very lovely experiences, but mostly learned via painful osmosis. As in: "this is what not to do".
Writing is a solitary venture. As was scientific research (my first career). In fact, the more my career advanced, the more solitary it became.
I would be willing to talk through some of your projects with you. If you need an ear ... [The ellipsis is not my addition or emendation of the text: the original message ends with an ellipsis.]
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Look: I don't give a fuck.
Either you're willing to take risks or you're not.
Either you've got ambition or you don't.
This specific story: the earthworm.
Are you willing to work hard to find a great illustrator and a great publisher or not?
Are you just a fucking coward and a pussy and an excuse maker or what?
Real people do real things. This is a polite paraphrase of the rap lyric: "real niggers do real things".
Velle non discitur. I can tell you what to do: I can tell you how to help. You have to bring passion and motivation to this.
Either you care about making that publication happen or you don't. Either you care about helping me to find a home and a career and a future (and perhaps even a university program) or you don't. Either you're willing to get uncomfortable to get results or you are not.
You began this conversation by admitting that you're not even willing to risk revealing your real name. Dig deep. Look in the mirror. Figure out what the fuck you are willing to do.
E.M.
