[Below is a reply to a Patreon supporter who I am leaving unnamed here. I am also leaving the philosophy that he presented to me largely up to your imagination.]
I will tell you the truth. Whether or not you are horrified is up to you.
Everything you're saying is a lie.
Everything.
If you say these things to yourself, you're lying to yourself. You're ruining your own life.
If you say these things to others, you're lying to others. You're ruining their lives.
The most fundamental delusion in your system of lies is this:
[Paraphrasing your position:] "I don't need to be married to an intelligent woman, because I can talk to my cousin or my sister: she's an intelligent woman."
If you can't realize how stupid this is, you can't realize the extent to which your whole world-view is based on a series of (ever more perilous) self-serving delusions.
Let us remove the aspect of gender and sexual attraction, and perhaps you can see how dishonest you're being.
What if you instead had said: "I don't need my boss at work to be intelligent, my brother is intelligent, if I want to talk to someone intelligent, I can talk to him instead."
What if you instead had said: "I don't need my colleagues at work to be intelligent, my brother is intelligent, if I want to talk to someone intelligent, I can talk to him instead."
What if you instead had said: "I don't need my professor at university to be intelligent, my brother is intelligent, if I want to talk to someone intelligent, I can talk to him instead."
What if you instead had said: "I don't need my own students to be intelligent, my brother is intelligent, if I want to talk to someone intelligent, I can talk to him instead."
What if you instead had said: "I don't need my own employees to be intelligent, my brother is intelligent, if I want to talk to someone intelligent, I can talk to him instead."
No: the fact that your brother or cousin is intelligent is totally irrelevant.
If your co-workers are idiots, every day of your life will be a struggle to get them to behave like intelligent people.
If your boss is an idiot, every day of your life will be full of disappointments, frustrations and struggles, because you can neither expect him to behave like an intelligent person, nor can you compel him to behave like an intelligent person.
If your professor is an idiot, every day of your life is a struggle. If, instead, you are the professor, and your students are idiots, every day of your life is a struggle.
It is a delusion to pretend that because your brother is intelligent (and you could talk to him if you needed someone intelligent to talk to) none of these other people's stupidity or intellectual development would matter.
The delusion hangs on one word: need.
Imagine a human being with the brain of a dog.
A human body with the mind and behavior of a dog.
If your wife were a human being (no matter how beautiful) with the mind of a dog, every single day of your life would be a horrible struggle in trying to compel her to behave like a human being.
There would be absolutely no consolation in the fact that your brother, sister, cousin, or anyone else happens to be an intelligent human being.
The misery of sharing your apartment (or house) with an idiot is far more intense than sharing an office with an idiot (whether it is your boss, your subordinate or an equal co-worker).
The fact that you have intellectual respect for someone else (your brother, etc.) is utterly irrelevant to the fact that you have no respect for the woman you're trying to love.
The fact that someone else (your brother, etc.) has intellectual respect for you (and understands you, etc.) will never compensate for the fact that the woman you love doesn't respect you (and can't understand you). Never.
I think you really cannot imagine the misery that your system of values is set up to vindicate.
No matter how beautiful a woman is, or, for that matter, how attractive my boss might be, my professor might be, my co-worker might be, etc., that can never, never, never compensate for the denigration entailed by living with an idiot.
Even if you think you can accept them "as they are", and that you won't try to change them (you won't try to educate them, etc.) the reality of your daily life will be that you're constantly trying to motivate them to stop being an idiot --again, like trying to compel a dog to behave as if it were really a human being.
Many people do find themselves in these situations with their employers, their professors, or even their subordinates, and they are compelled to accept such unequal relations due to economic or political circumstances beyond their control. Nobody has to accept this in their love lives: nobody has to fall asleep next to someone they intellectually despise, nor someone who despises them back (and again, be clear: it is very easy for stupid people to despise those who are more intelligent than them, in part because it is difficult for fools to appreciate intellectual qualities that are beyond the scope of their own foolish imagining).
I know that you have not written to me with bad intentions. I know you're not trying to hurt anyone. However, I am telling you, as sternly as possible, that you've elaborated a whole philosophy that is based on a lie, and it will bring real harm into people's lives, including your own, if you believe it.
